Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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