Kiss
Puke
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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