He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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