Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
