Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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