if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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