Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Let's paint friendship bongs
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
