I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
