they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
