There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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