He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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