Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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