we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
