My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
