There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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