Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
