what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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