don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You did what with his pubic hair?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize