What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
