This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
