rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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