Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
