Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
