I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
