Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My breasts were aching with rage.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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