It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
