go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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