Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
