Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
high people should be assigned attendants
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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