well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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