Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
