My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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