You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
