White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
