Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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