and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
