i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm like, not good at living.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
