I heard we made out
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
