I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
