I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
