Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
