Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
time to smoke my breakfast
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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