do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
