I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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