If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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