Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
