i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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