what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
