i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
