it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So much rum. So many feels.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
