i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
They took my balls.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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