Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
