she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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