So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
